this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
Just threw up in a trash can by the ATM. Then pulled out money for weed.
He asked me If i had cheated on my boyfriend when I said no he said it's like he doesnt know me anymore
i cant text you anymore tonight, God gave me two hands for two cups
We convinced you to take a shot out of the sponge...there were still suds in it.
I'm not upset because i like you. I'm upset because I can't use you for the sex anymore.
He Facebook stalked his way right into my pants.
You will not judge me for my made-up holiday of wine appreciation day
Ya these assholes wanted to like sit around and eat cupcakes and watch the notebook. I was like fuck you, I want to go make some people uncomfortable in public.
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
I text him "Dude. Tryna get fucked here. I only have half the parts. I need your help" I'm sure my mom would be super proud of the woman I have become.
I'm happily sitting on the toilet cause I'm too tired to move. I'm considering making this my permanent residence. It has a lot to offer.
You came out in nothing but lingerie and a Jedi robe claiming you needed more of those baby hot dog things or you were gonna go all Sith on us
She's like the sister I never had that I want to bang.
You could cut the tension with my nipples.
Randomize
