Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
I just saw the dad from "Little People Big World" at the airport. I chased him down and congratulated him for beating the DUI.
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
The beer is more important than you right now.
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
Well the police had to intervene and I couldn't exactly feel my legs by the end of the night, but I'd say it was a successful Friday night.
he won't tell me his last name, but I know his garage key code
I snapchatted him 4 pictures of me as Tarzan's dad so if he never talks to me again at least we'll know why
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
Wtf. So apparently this 5 star establishment doesn't allow strip putt putt in the parking lot. We all just got kicked out of our rooms.
I get dinner and bf perks from the one guy. But dick with no commitment from the other. I’m living my best life.
Do you know why I slept in the yard last night?
You said you watched the lion king stoned and had to do it for simba.
Pride rock will get you every time.
I’ve chosen to watch a Mercedes station wagon drive around the Austrian in the rain because it’s live sports. If that doesn’t explain 2020, I don’t know what does.
I woke up in a warehouse with the words “Property of Adam” written on my chest in frosting.
Randomize
