Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
I had a pretty decent weekend -- aside from dropping the baby on her head. That.. That I feel bad about.
I pulled my tongue muscle last night. your welcome.
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
You basically tried to anal probe my passed out friend with a lamp
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
I just want it to be said that I had sex in my Belle dress last night. Classy motherfucker.
I offered him midol and told him "it always helps my period so maybe it'll help yours"
I had to switch coats with someone at work because you can see the giant sex choke bruise on my neck. Being kinky is hard.
While having sex, a German accent isn't sexy.
"The More You Know"
It may be a corded vibrator from the 90s but it gets the job DONE
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