stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
As your boss, I feel obligated to tell you that turning our management meeting into a kegger may just be the best idea you've given me yet.
It's not weird mascara. I just have puke crusted on my eyelashes.
we should look into getting a golf cart for the weekend. i have a feeling legs wont be a sufficient source of transportation.
I almost stepped in a homeless mans stream of urine as he was peeing. I love this city.
Can we make a sex game out of monopoly somehow?
I got kicked out of the hotel after wandering into the banquet kitchen at 2am trying to find the shrimp....so we're power napping in the car and then driving to madison.
How on earth did you break your wrist?
I went into someone's yard so I could pee and I found a tireswing
Next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
he stole a smokey from the street meat vendor and put it in his pocket when she wasn't looking and now we're drinking avocado margaritas
Yeah, last night in the parking lot was hot. I'm sure whoever has the surveillance tapes thinks so too.
I don't know how guys can take themselves seriously when they see themselves naked
I got poked in the eye with a penis last night. How's your day?
And on a positive note i found a list that i made in 3rd grade titled "what to do if you want a guy to like you"
I think I'm dead. Also I think I stole $20 from a stripper.
You did. Then gave it to me.
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