I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
You told me you were pretty sure you were god because you knew everything about everyone.
Just passed an anti-circumcision dude with a sign. Handing-out-bibles guy has been officially one-upped.
I just caught Brandon licking the fake chocolate on a smores ornament
i woke up with a wedding ring drawn on my finger...if this was vegas id be worried
Hey we met at the bar a week ago. Your friend gave me a rose and you asked about my nipples.
Lets just say that a certain piercing set off certain alarms when I went thru the airport detector/scanner thingie. David was high fived like 12 times.
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
Please come over, I'm slowly melting into a ball of sexual frustration. If I'm not dead by the end of the day be very surprised.
He left his cock-ring in my truck.
Consider it a gay sex souvenir.
I'm surprised I don't have a permanent face imprint between my boobs.
I just want the relationship Bob and Linda Belcher have- is that too much to ask?!
He was telling me how he was trying to grow up. And then 2 minutes later, he told me he was tripping on lsd for the first time.
He's tiny, but ripped. Like a stacked hobbit. He's going to pull our sexy, crime-fighting rickshaw.
Need to use your shower bro.
FWB wearing glitter again?
It’s like she’s marking her territory
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