all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
so i was dancing to the glee soundtrack with highheels. i tripped. and the dildo fell on my face. i dont know what happened.
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
they hired a photographer to take a family portrait for grandmas bday gift. we just hired a male stripper. we are def the better grandkids.
I just made easy mac in my blender. Beat that.
We uncovered another pile of vomit after you left. And i am not talking about the one in the vase
Well I consider my vagina a dear friend. She treats me good I treat her good. We work together. Glad we could be of service.
I have so much boob sweat I could bathe a baby
In lieu of flowers, please donate to The Hungover Children's Fund in my name.
I got back at him the only way I knew how, by hooking up with the guy he hates from their rival fraternity.
The stripper told Tom to sort his life out
Every guy I've ever fucked is single right now
Pray for me
Grateful to be alive soliciting dick pics. Thankful i'm alive for these little things and especially these big ones too.
Okay I'm ready to show you that my weiner still works
Too late, I'm convinced it's broken
I promise your sink was clogged before I threw up in it.
Randomize
