why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
I literally made his dick bleed. How the fuck do you think it went?
he asked me if i had ever jacked off high and then referred to it as a "man-to-man question"
Get here now. This is going to be possibly my most dangerous idea ever, and I'm the guy who challenged a hobo to a breakdance fight.
He said hes taking shrooms and watching jurassic park so we're making a t-rex costume
we need ur ladder
You thought last year was bad... a guy dressed as a clown showed up with cocaine
He stripped down to boxers and then started flinging jello shots with a spoon into people's mouths like a catapult.
Its not that I'm getting free haircuts... Its just that she is paying for sex with haircuts...
I had to assert my dominance as Alpha Drunk.
Also what is the name of Americas thing where we had a holy obligation to expand westward? I'm going name my new lighter that.
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
you realize you insisted on them having a dance off to korean music to determine who takes you home?
my cat just photo bombed my nudie.. does this qualify me as a cat lady?
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
Your drunk self managed to not pee on anyone's bed
Go me
I'm actually proud
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