It's noon and i am somehow drinking by myself in a jazz tent in broad daylight.
yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
grab my backpack.....its in the fridge
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
He was visibly upset that you'd rather eat nachos than have sex with him.
Today has been the most awkward masturbatory day of my life. Possibly even more awkward than when my mom found my vibrator on Mother's Day.
I called my dad at 3 a.m. because I thought he'd be proud that I didnt get arrested. Daddys little girl at her finest...
Moments after comforting her about her boyfriend issues I found myself in the other room showing him my tits.
Pretty sure I just became my mom's wingman
Now theyre filling the kiddie pool water with boxes and boxes of jello powder and im not sure if thats a sign i should leave or what
I think the worst part about being a real adult is 1)having a high stress job that makes me want to get stoned 2)paying for reefer using my own money 3)realizing my boyfriends children probably have more weed connections than I do anymore
Maybe not Elvis quality pharmaceuticals...But some good stuff
Dude, someone puked in my washing machine last night, I tried turning it on to clean it...not a good idea
Baked out of my mind. Went in the bathroom, a daddy long leg spider and a carpenter ant are battling it out on the floor. I brought my computer with some dubstep.
OMG THE ANT WON
Dude, I just turned down sexual favours because I need to study... What the fuck is wrong with me?
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