we couldnt find her phone in the morning so i called it and found it under the bed. my name came up as 'regret'
Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
captain morgan taught me last night that resee's puffs are way better when eaten straight out of the sink.
Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
I'm tired of stuffing my fat into a slutty costume. Next year let's go as homeless girls. Cute ones. In leggings with camel toe.
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
Announcement: Given the sad circumstances regarding the death of my dearest friend Chong the Bong, there will be a brief memorial service for him tomorrow evening at 10:30 at my place. After sharing some memories and sending his spirit off to the great bowl in the sky, we will all take place in the commemoration and maiden voyage of his son, Chong Squared, who eagerly waits to meet all of you. High blessings to you all, piece be with you.
i think he spiked my sandwich with a viagra
Well, I found the missing blow... in my fucking suitcase... THIS MORNING. Yeah, I flew from FL to NY with blow in my suitcase yesterday.
I told you to check, dude
Yeah, AFTER I checked my bag and I was already sitting on a plane. Oh well. I figured worst case I'd do like 15 hours in county and I was totally prepared for that anyways. I always prepare for that when we hang out.
I'm FaceTiming Pizza Hut.
Welcome to stoned Saturday. Full of laser tag and beyonce and awesome
Bitch are you kidding? 2016 is gonna be the year our pussies run for president
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
P.s. There are few things I love more than brand new mascara and you are one of them.
Not sure, she said after cussing out the dentist they called security. Make that the first person I know 86'ed by a dentist.
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