you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
he cracked the bottle of jager at 11am and said "hey, its Saturday and I gotta do something"
Ok the fact that you know THAT phrase perfectly is terrifying. You just proved you can slut it up in mulitiple languages.
We JUST got rid of the new years fatties at my gym and now the spring break fatties are here. goddamn.
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I'm pretty sure my moms getting nailed in the bathroom right now while I'm chaperoning. God damn it.
She was mad I came so fast. I was like, It's the Olympics! Fastest time wins! We can train you in the offseason.
Kripsy Kremes at our place, bring your own coffee. And your own donuts because these ones are ours.
He got naked and made a run for the door so I had to stop him.
I asked if I could borrow some condoms. She referred to herself as "a soup kitchen for whores".
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I dunno. We kind of want to have a hippie communing with nature type break. But because we're such alcoholics I feel like we'll just be wasted the whole time in addition to hugging trees and shit
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
Well... I got her number now... I think she is a dish best served drunk
Yeah, I'm just gonna try to repress that and remember him for his big dick and perfect jawline.
holy shit I was not prepared for her to whip out that dildo
He told me was "pretty like the wife in some movie where the husband is a cheater." I think I'm gonna fuck him.
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