They use the phrase "final warning" so often the words have lost all meaning.
nothing like walking down the street with a garbage bag of puke trying to find a dumpster
So then she just shoved applesauces in her pocket and started talking about she needed to find her friends.
you didn't get her number why?
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
Hungover and I may throw up in my therapist's office. Maybe he is right about my drinking
You BETTER NOT STEAL MY MOTHERFUCKING SQUIRREL
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
Should I go sleeveless of strapless?
Hmmm, it doesn't matter. You're gonna be topless by the end of it.
HELP! How do I get paint off the dog?
We were kinda loud so his roommate woke up and to make up for it he invited him to a threesome. I can't drink whiskey anymore.
There is a midget in cheetah face paint on a leash here
He was awesome with her today. I can't say that it didn't make my Fallopian tubes sing "The Hills Are Alive."
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
She squirted. We were both surprised. I'm that good.
would it be awkward if i bring my husband?
only if i fuck you in the bathroom while he's paying the check
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