one might say we're banned from that church
I am really glad that on the inside of a card from your grandparents you have transcribed the rules for circle of death
The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
It all came flooding back to me: there was a woman with one hand
Last night, my friend changed all my contacts in my phone. I have been texted by Batman, Donatello, and Hermione Granger. I have no idea who they are, and it doesn't upset me at all.
well since you're still married, you will be paying for my abortion right?
I think all I remember saying is, "I love Chris Berman's voice" and then I passed out
We stared down the barrel of pure insanity, took more and the electric elephant god rewarded our fearlessness by giving me golden skulls and naked women crawling out of the walls. I love acid
Btw if you ever get emails that pretty much contain 'bwahhhhh jatkkvsweuo' it's safe to assume it's me.
if i do community service solely to impress a guy, everyone wins, right?
except your soul
You called it motorboating but you just snot rocketed into my tits.
I'd rather have snapchat than feelings.
Drunk me commented on almost all of her pictures. My favorite one is titled "be as the sea". My comment is "cold, rough, large and letting anyone come inside you. you accomplished." Guessing I'm not invited to the party anymore.
90% sure I just opened a snapchat of you in a fuzzy bathrobe next to your ceiling collapsing
I admire the fact that you replicated my apartment on the roof but I would appreciate it more if you would move all my stuff off the roof and back into my apartment.
Randomize
