wouldve been great, if we lived in constant slow motion cause that shit lasted 30 seconds and half the time he was putting on the condom
enterprise is going to pick me up, im too high for this
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
No i dont need Magnum Condoms, that would be like putting MC Hammer pants on my dick
I watched her choke out a bouncer with the broken strap from her purse, I think shes the one.
this must be what syphilis tastes like
So idk if it's because I'm working out again or the coke, but I hit my target weight today. Whaaaat uuuup. Come and get me thanksgiving.
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
You should have. Partying with 60 year olds and batman is so much better than partying with bitches our age.
Selling our snow shovel to buy more beer. Not your brightest idea.
Hot Damn Cinnamon Schnapps make me feel like the sun is punching me in the face and a bear is sleeping inside me.
My life hurts
I woke up 30 minutes away from the bar, my car was at a train station, and when I got home all I got was the speechless head shake
Puking in the Ritz Carlton bathroom was actually kind of a nice experience
I was so high. I had so much hair. It was like all my hair follicles exploded.
So basically he is jobless, a potential serial killer, and has poor taste in music? We simply don't have time for that.
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