I just woke up and found a naked man on my floor. Looks like Dad had a wild night of strip poker
if she shaves her mustache, i'll let her give me head
just bought miller high life, hungry man dinners, and a bottle of lube. you win life, you win.
life lesson# 3: saying thank you on a subway really means "im not a native new yorker, so please feel free to touch my ass"
hmm. interesting. explain how you came across this knowledge.
i sneezed. he said bless you. i said thank you. he groped. i again said thank you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he cried for an hour, then he threw up on my lap then started singing party in the usa...opera style...
I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
she just announced that once she was paid to deep throat a light saber with a mint flavored condom on it. i'm speechless.
she's crying and begging for her chapstick and insisting on walking home...her every thursday ritual
I'm pretty sure we organized our beer pong teams according to who's been circumsized...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
Aside from having sex with a rando in a toga on george's couch i think taking plan b in the library is the most hashtag college thing i've ever done
Here when you come to your senses come back here and I'll fuck you back out of them.
Just letting you know that I just spent 11 dollars on a car wash... Because you had sex in my car.
It’s just a penis. It’s like every other penis except it’s not the one you’re married to. Ride it or don’t ride it, but don’t agonize about it
Your not going to hell because you need some strange and the neighbor noticed you look damn good in a bikini
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