k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
A female Wisconsin fan just headbutted the bouncer. Im deeply terrified and oddly aroused at the same time.
Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
hey I'm just gonna fall asleep in the bathroom at the library call me when you're done with class
its simple. when his lips are on my clitoris i want to marry him. when they are speaking i want to kill him.
You are the worst substitute drug dealer ever
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
I just lit a candle in my room using axe and a lighter, that's how bored I am. Let's get schwasted.
I'm going to fake an anxiety attack to get to the front of the line. Save me some brisket.
So now I'm lying here in bed taking notes from Teen Mom... I fucked up
All I remember about last st pattys day was I was in a bathtub with full bubbles, fully clothed, drinking out of a flamingo lawn ornament that someone cut a hole in.
My dog just ran downstairs with my vibrator in her mouth... during my dad's birthday dinner.
Yeah I know my dick is weird, but I've surprisingly had a lot of fun with it.
His sister gave me the "if you hurt him I will break your neck" talk. I didn't know how to tell her we're not a couple.
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