we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
I just saw a kid drop his lollipop on the floor of best buy, kick it because he was pissed off and then pick it up and eat it. I think I have a long lost son.
he just tried to convince me that tylenol is a gateway drug
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
I'm sober enough to question why I have your name as "the wolverine" in my phone.
She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
I should work for the FBI. Or planned parenthood.
That's quite a broad spectrum. What did you do?
I am gathering blankets and bags of horse grain to pad my truck bed so I have a comfy place to crash when I get home, without the inconvenience of stairs. Or doors. Or walking. But with the refreshing scent of molasses.
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
Apparently last night I yelled "the cops were called on a mother fucker and that mother fucker is me." And then proceeded to exorcise a sandwitch.
She started calling me daddy on the second date and I don't know how to react to that
I finally got my restraining order in the mail. Was that supposed to upset me? I'm just over here like "TELLEM BOY BYE!-\nlegally..."
Honey...this isn't my 20's. This is my 30's. I paid for this house and these expensive ass sheets to fuck in them. Get your ass over here.
Don't do it. He's got a dick the size of a baseball bat. You don't want that commitment.
I have to. For the sake of science.
Randomize
