If that was your dad, he is hot
her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
Remeber, hes got nothing better to offer you than drunk words and hairy balls.
You say "arrested with two drunk girls" like it's a bad thing....
It honestly took me longer to beat Ninja Turtles: Turtles in Time, than it did to have sex with her the first time we met.
i made potato chips in weed oil. what did you do today?
Trying to figure out when's a good time to take acid and not tell anyone and see how long it takes people to notice
I'm in Starbucks carrying the boxes wine and the hubcap. So many judging looks.
HIS TAN HAS PUT ME TO SHAME. HE TOOK HIS PANTS OFF AND HIS DICK LOOKED LIKE A GHOST
Were you drinking last night?
Because typically I don't associate the phrase 'Go sleepy time' with sobriety.
this place is dumb. no one understands my Sunday morning alcoholism here.
PEOPLE ARE STILL EATING FAJITAS IN DROVES. BY THE CASELOAD. THERES A FORKLIFT OF SIZZLING MEATS.
Anyone would get lost in that field after that much vodka. Trust me... I kind of feel like superman considering I even made it home. Most people would've been face down in a random oilfield. Not this guy.
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
Randomize
