I kno. She bruised her chin trying to swim thru the hardwood floor.
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
So my niece decided to play "lets make shapes out of your bruises" with me and told me that one of them looks like a shark bite. Bravo, sir. Bravo.
So his mom walked in the kitchen while I was sucking him off and just casually suggested that "I'd need a glass of water after that"
I pulled out moves I did not even know I possessed, our fucking de-throned gods
I plan on just grabbing someone's dick if I have to. They will know what's up. Why else do you go to a bar alone on valentines day?
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
She only fucks to metal. I don't know whether to marry her or run for the hills.
How does she have a hairless cat and a husband it's not fair. Both are hard to come by
I have to call my new boss to accept the job offer so you have pack the bowl while I pretend I'm a responsible adult THEN we can get high
sometimes you just gotta eat tacobell at 2am and cry all your feelings out
I woke up the whole house screaming I need my shorts they found me in the kitchen with a bag of strawberries naked
I think my liver just tried to kill me, we need to slow down
the only fun thing to do here is drink beer and make mistakes. i feel like im in college again
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