I'm so drunk that I ordered a root beer at the bar. Whoops?
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
so it turns out, not only do the doormen judge the girls I bring home, but they rate them.
And I was the only one who felt it was dangerous to set the tv and blender on the ledge of the hot tub
A man in denim coveralls just shotgunned a beer on the dance floor
Seriously this night has "go home now before you cry, puke or scream on someone" written all over it.
I dont care how drunk you were. Making a bet with MY husband at MY wedding that you could seal the deal before he could is ALWAYS inappropriate!
I was wondering how I got the burn marks on my boobs and then I remembered....
The baked potato bra?
Well, I guess that's how life goes for my dad. One minute you're walking with your cooler on the afterglow of a Lynyrd Skynyrd concert, the next you find your grown son choking out a drunk redneck against your pickup truck.
Last night must have been awesome because I went to get in the shower only to find the bat symbol drawn on my chest
That happened during battle shots lol
don't judge my taste in strippers
We ran out of toilet paper so Ive been using coffee filters
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
I JUST SNEEZED WITH A MOUTHFUL OF CHEWED UP CASHEWS AND THEY CAME OUT MY NOSE AND IT HURT AND NOW I HAVE A LITTLE NOSEBLEED
I just hooked up with the German exchange student who doesn't speak English. And you said I have no talent.
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