dibs on John Mayer's hood pass
she said she's never had and orgasm AND she's a cubs fan...ouch.
At the time, making out with dudes for keg money seemed like a genius idea. Now I realize it was borderline prostitution.
Going to have to start putting down newspaper if puking the bed is going to be a habit
i shit in a pringles can and hid it somewhere in your house....happy hunting
IT'S A HOLY FESTIVAL. A BUDDHIST CELEBRATION OF PENIS.
Went to bed with a bowl of spaghetti O's on my chest, I make my own breakfast in bed. New level of laziness
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
I need to see you idiots before I go back to school. But we shouldn't snort Crown Royal this time.
I left my parents and ran through the airport. I was like I'm not getting stuck in Atlanta tonight and not having sex.
Good new is, my parents are alive. Better news they will be in the hospital all weekend. Best news is im having a house party. All weekend.
I just found your shirt hanging in a tree 4 blocks from the party...in the opposite direction of your house. where are you going?
Facebook just reminded me of the time I found two IHop cheese sticks in my hand bag. Those were the days.
So if i am talking to a guy and he sends me a pic and he is wearing Spiderman button down dress shirt.... Is it ok if i dont want to talk to him anymore?
What the fuck was I thinking eating an entire tub of potato salad on acid. My stomach today bro
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