Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...
You stole her cigarette screaming that you were going to stop the air cancer from getting everyone.
at least i was looking out for everybody
Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Locked out of the apartment with just a box of wine way to begin the weekend.
Judging by the hole in the wall by the door, the mis-matched shoes by the door, and the door hanging off one hinge... i'd say he's on the loose.
don't be alarmed if you come back and i'm passed out drunk and naked cuddling with the franzia.
Ya, found out why there were rat traps in my bed. Guess I pissed in Sams room so he went to the store and got them and put them on my bed and put tabasco in his humidifier and put it in my room
Just walked into the bar to find a guy in a Boba Fett helmet leaning casually against the wall, texting. This night just got real.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just had an hour long talk with a woman, turns out she's the mom of the guy i lost my virginity to. Even better his dog was also present.. Meeting the family at its best?
my entire left arm went numb
you need to get that checked to make sure you're not wired to have strokes instead of orgasms
My greatest accomplishment today was eating a box of Thai food the size of a toddler.
that was the most beautifully crafted sentence ive ever read that involved the phrase "genitals or whatever"
I HAVE DISCOVERED LONDON AND IT FILLS ME WITH JOY
I'm having shoppers remorse over a dildo
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