You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
dude, the summer is killing me. i just woke up cause my balls were stuck to HER leg!
They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
just took my temp. 103. i wonder how tylenol and jager bombs are gonna mix
you flashed the cab driver so we didn't have to pay the fare and then you decided you were on a roll so you flashed the guy at the maccas drive through... safe to say your boob job was the best idea ever!!
She threw her promise ring on the ground, that's when the freak came out.
There's a good chance a guy sucked off my right earring last night
I saw you sitting on top of my car trying to row back home... Did you make it?
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
I'm taking a leave of absence and sending myself to fat camp. I'll let you know when I'm out.
Just wanted to say a big ole FUCK YOU for coming out to mom the day before I have to drive with her for 6 hours. Ass hat.
I don't know if you've ever seen a group of 20 year olds reenact a rectal prolapse, but 'majestic' isn't really the word I'd use...
Can you tell me why Star Wars Burlesque is pulled up on my phone from last night?
I'm really stressed out right now.
I think you're confusing "stressed" and "sober".
Randomize
