the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
How are you going to pay for strippers in Vegas when you were just begging for McDoubles?
I sat down with you and helped you write your will last night. I was THAT convinced that you weren't waking up.
Were taking tot shots. If toddlers could drink these are the size of shots they would take
Drunk
Deyhxbr
Fucaerrrrr
You need to stop having girl talk with the guys I'm sleeping with.
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
I think my nap took me to another dimension
and then you two started interpretive dancing to Mozart
I think the fact that I stole someone's mail and broke my big toe means that I should consider taking some time away from vodka
people keep driving by and judging me for drinking natty outside in my underwear at 9 am. rude.
I feel like you should store your weed in something that suits your personality. For example mines in a hollowed out disney princess book.
Gotta say, self-deprecating Lord of the Rings-themed sex jokes were not on my agenda for today.
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
Randomize
