I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
Just tried calling my phone on my phone because i thought i lost my phone.
terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
plus shes a stripper, ive been with strippers, if you fuck this up your penis will never forgive you
Ever have those mornings where you just can't wait to puke in the shower?
is it possible that there's a used condom holding pennies in my bra? I'm so confused on what happened last night...
What I'm trying to say is, that time you chained me to my dresser and made me beg for it was incredibly romantic.
I just passed a truck with its bed lined with a tarp and filled with water with six dudes chilling in the back driving through campus. That looks fun.
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
Just when I thought I was growing up, I go out and TOTALLY REDEEM MYSELF
True friendship: When you can hold your best friend's hair and still eat your Stromboli at the same time.
Why does your place smell like gin and misery?
I prefer to think of it as 'ode to single life'
Just found a rebirth in peppermint schnapps. May be able to stay up all night and finish this paper after all. MERRY CHRISTMAS
he bought me ice cream then took me home and fucked the shit outta me. you can't write this kinda romance.
Whatever douche. I sucked the dick that made you. I. Win.
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