I hate my date so much right now for even thinking I want to do the electric slide.
also, made friends with this 75 year old millionaire Tony who likes to mosh. Don't ask.
I wish my mouth had a period so that could be my excuse on those days I don't feel like giving head
Just gave my little brother the collection of clothes that boys have left in my room since I've been in college for his birthday.
We left around 4 AM after the stripper showed no mercy and dropped into a split on Matt's nose. Massive nosebleed.
When she was giving me head last night it felt like there was a NASCAR pit crew working on my dick.
Either I'm spending too much time drinking or my perfume is starting to smell like a pineapple vodka.
Idk. Im in a bed. the walls are wood. There's a deer mount.. im afraid to turn over and see who's next to me but he's violently cuddly.
We hotboxed his closet and accidentally lit some of his shirts on fire... do we have a fire extinguisher?
My ex came over to hook up...then I went on a date 2 hours later and got a bj. Single: Finally doing it right.
Never do acid then ask for a blow job while watching 28 Days Later. Heed my advice.
Had to admit my broken elbow was caused by vodka, not hockey
Last night you broke a mirror, and then rolled around in the glass shards. Miraculously, there's not a scratch on you...
we thought it would be safer to lock you in the car alone downtown than take you back home to pass out
Anytime you wish.we are doing double shots in the kitchen,and I drank a beer in the shower,so...the sooner you get here,the sooner you can get on our level.
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