I bet when she looks at herself in the mirror she wishes brown paper bags were in fashion.
Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
the highlight of my day was when my dad called me when I was watching porn and I muted it instead of pausing it.
If I were a woman I'd fill my water bra with liquor so that I could sip on it throughout the day.
just apologized to a random stranger while waiting in line for coffee. last night was that drunk
people are starting to question the shark bite story
I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
Bjs on a first date are the gateway to getting to know someone for who they really are.
You got in the cab and told the cab driver "we only have seven bucks so you better drive fucking fast".
C'mon. I'm still an alcoholic at heart, regardless of its broken or not
So he noticed that I cut a half inch off of my hair. Guess who just earned himself some road head on the way to the twin cities?
Why do I feel like I need to drink to feel better about the things I do when I'm drunk
not sure what the chiropractor did but my junk deserves a cape now.
Mandatory face masks - finally, a solution for lip augmentation failures and bad breath.
I ate at the cafeteria for the first time yesterday and today I think I had an hour long fart.
Randomize
