If you want her to think you're a true humanitarian, you may want to stop referring to Hands Across America as "the Ghostbusters 2 of fund raisers."
The verizon commercial has a magical pinata. Candy just keeps coming out. It must be a portal to a candy universe.
I caved and texted him. But it's strictly drug dealing business so it doesn't count.
I have to cancel. My sons dad is out of jail unexpectedly and i'm kinda an emotional wreck. P.s. This is not the life I dreamed of as a little girl.
You never know, some chick could have a weird unibrow fetish.
Thanks for the viagra you gave me last night. I ended up getting called in to work to cover a shift. So I had to tell Kayla that I couldn't hang out and I had to try and hide my dick all night while walking serving people food all night.
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
I've literally already typed in by booty call text for friday night. all I have to do now is wait for is drunk me to press send
Remember that time you came over to my house and I was on the porch naked and eating peanut butter?
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
My roommate just walked in on him eating me out ..happy finals week right?
Today, my weed came in a pokéball. I officially love my dealer.
I'm trying to be celibate. I'm having me time. I'm eating cake.
We are so disgustingly codependent and I wouldn't have it any other way
Randomize
