but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
Just looked at my call log. I called Planned Parenthood at 3am.
Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
He passed out naked in my bathroom, then took a shower, then passed out again and then took another shower. Last time I let my brother visit.
Somebody found our where I was and called the bar looking for me. When the bartender called my name I finished my beer and took off like a fugitive.
I went to bed at ten on a Friday night I have virtues to spare
He called me piss drunk at 7:30pm while cooking bacon and said he was going to bed. I don't think he's taking it well.
Whenever I'm hungover I try to stay in public as much as possible, hoping to be a cautionary tale to children. It's a public service, really.
Can you plz delete the video of me twerking in Waffle House, my mom just got a vine.
The bros used their bong water as pong water but I walked in mid game and didn't know so they hit our first cup and I chugged it.
We're sitting in the bathtub, eating pizza, doing shots of vvodka and comparing nipples. I havfe never been so comfortable in my life.
Well, if worst comes to worst, I have pictures of his penis that I can put on the internet
We both knew it was over when I took a u turn at her belly button.
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
Randomize
