Are you going to tell your therapist we boned?
Check if I'm alive tomorrow. If not, tell my parents I died happy and that there's a gay cheerleader in the spare bedroom
The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
She's trying to figure out what kind of dinosaur I am... Yay codeine.
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
We hit a deer while we were singing an acapella version of "I will always love you"
I am disappointed by everyone's lack of ability to dance on a stripper pole:(
A 74 year old man offered to let me sleep on his pull out couch last night.
The other day I was really high and I felt like my words were coming out of my mouth in flowers...I don't know.
If I could run through a field of Reece's and Oreos, dive off a milkfall into a bowl of cereal. My Life would complete.
Eh. Fuck him. He's missing out. I'm legit naked and drinking straight from the bottle of wine.
After last night I never want to be in the back of a cop car again. No leg room.
I came so hard I went blind for a few seconds.
Does anyone remember last night? Because I still don't know why I now own a goldfish and a ceiling fan made of pizza?
I'm pretty sure I naked in my first year of college more than I was as a baby.
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