it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
so many types of cookies right now. i'm eating four kinds of cookies that i've made into larger cookie sandwiches. too high. whoa.
We were confused who drove until we went outside and her cupholders were torn out of the dash and laying on the ground
The amount of my urine my roommate has consumed after I found out he's been eating my food almost offsets how angry I am
Just peed in a urinal with another girl. It's that kind of night.
he ate me out like 4 times and told me that my vagina "was too much fun".
It takes a special kind of man to fart REALLY loudly right before entering a woman and still get some. This has been a state of bootytown address.
at crossfit today a guy shit his pants while deadlifting 405 lbs. coach made fun of him then congratulated him on his new personal record.
Do you know how many guys' fantasies I've been told I'm a part of lately?!
Just 2. But still.
You are in a fancy European city. The best way to truly experience the city is through Tinder
I'm like the big dick whisperer.
He's actually really cute and seems like a good guy. And given that he likes lots of drugs, he could come in handy.
woke up and you werent here...its ok if we're never going to speak again but my furry hand cuffs are missing and i would like them back. thanks.
And on the 323rd day without sex, God finally said let there be light...or love?
there is another microwave in the elevator.
Randomize
