I want to be a jewelry store heckler. "Hey man, is she really worth it"
I seem to have left my pride at pride
What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
Just opened a beer with eyelash curlers... miss you.
no, literally. he fb chatted me and said "since you're online i figured we could bang tonight?"
Walking back from greek row alone at 3:30am in a child's kangaroo suit...not my proudest moment
I tried...failed..now im naked on the futon since clothes are hard.
Hey, don't think you remember me but we met last night. I'm conducting a survey this morning its only one question: Have you seen Rob since 1am?
He recreated the night that started all my mothers days. We shared a joint, drank Boones Farm, and dry humped to the Beastie Boys. Then I cried over MCA's death. Best. Gift. Ever.
What would you do if your asshole suddenly made the sound of a sheep duck baa/quacking the words kill me
You are so incredibly one of a kind, it's astounding
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
Here's to not getting arrested this year on thanksgiving again. Cheers bitches!
I mentioned the porn thing he mentioned a brother it all kinda just came together
Never thought I'd see the day when I got assless chaps in the mail, and yet here we are...
I'm going to tell you a beautiful word.
Fellatio.
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