We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
Need sex. Gaining weight.
Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
Woke up this morning 8 levels higher in Call of Duty then when I started drinking... told you I was better when I was drunk.
i was in the bathroom puking my brains out, a girl walked in and said "i just came to do the same thing" so i told her i would move over and share the toilet. its better than being alone.
long story short: there's a file in the master file cabinet labeled "lube".
the black eye was caused by a 12 year old girl in a vampire costume who punched you in the face after you aggresively screamed "TEAM JACOB!" in her face & howled at the moon...
if i'm ever face-down on the ground puking again, promise me you won't try to braid my hair?
no dont worry i changed into my costume in the hospital bathroom
Going to a professional golf course at 2am to throw the flag poles like javelins
See,its just the last time this situation happened I ended up hiding in a closet on my birthday
Come as you are, bitch. Glitter and vodka provided.
It baffles me why I still wear white underwear...
hot take: drunk me can walk through walls?
What do you mean relationship? He paid for my tires and I gave him a blow job.
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