If you want her to think you're a true humanitarian, you may want to stop referring to Hands Across America as "the Ghostbusters 2 of fund raisers."
called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
I just lost $50 at the races, got drunk, and woke up to my ex-gf. Apparently the good decisions kept on rolling...
I'm way to drunk for this play. I'm about to run up on stage and drop the main character
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
Sending a dick pic with a 2010 time stamp on it is violation of proper sexting etiquette
I was packing a bowl naked and her dog just stared at me with pure rage
I was super proud of him for making a mature relationship decision, and then I remembered that he cheated on her. With me.
I think my nap took me to another dimension
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I would totes reciprocate the nip pic, but I'm sick with a piece of tissue shoved up one of my nostrils and I'm just not feeling that ambitious. Sorry.
God, please protect all woman from micro-penises
Do you know how fucking great a bath bomb is when you're high?
It's almost like he's actually taking my commentary and criticism to heart, but simultaneously succumbing to some primal urge to wear less clothing each time.
Welp, no use in crying over spilt milk. I can't unbang her.
He couldn’t find my clit with a map. Literally. I drew him a map.
Randomize