Guess who is high enough to buy Jingle All The Way?
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
He practically bottle-fed me Jameson, like I was a baby chimpanzee on those nature specials.
It was just a friend comforting a friend. Except his penis was inside of me.
I don't think he knows what shame means anymore. He gave some bar slut his sisters Tiffanys necklace, in exchange for anal.
I'm about one sudden movement away from being able to cross "throw up in a fortune 100 company's bathroom" off my bucket list.
Look man, sometimes you just gotta say "Sure! Why not? I can always take a shower afterwards"
Dress was in bathroom covered in shards of glass, earrings on living room floor, bracelet still missing, purse in backyard. The cast of Princess Bride all left the bar to make sure I was ok. Perfect night
Serious question: when you had my right nipple in your mouth, did my nipple ring have both of the balls on it, or was it missing one. Current situation: missing one.
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
After last night I think its official. Deep down, we like alcohol more than we like women.
Honestly I was sitting in managerial accounting thinking "I really need to get my shit together and stop drinking so much wine." But when you asked I realized... it's wine. It's always a yes.
So I'm getting really old. I feel asleep for a booty call that I initiated. The struggle is real.
I just took a service station dump so foul I had to buy gas out of guilt
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
Randomize
