Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
I wrote and sealed my mom's mothers day card last night while intoxicated.. should i put it in the maibox
without a question
I walked in and she was doing shots, betting the managers if any of the customers would notice, and screaming that nothing would ruin her Saturday night. Say what you want, I like working with my sister.
She went into the basement and sang to my cat for three hours....she actually has a beautiful voice....
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
Getting cock-blocked by Jeff Bridges. NOT OKAY.
She's beautiful tan and skinny she will make me hate myself and that's what I need in a friend right now
Dude. I am seriously trying SO hard not to be amused by Honey Boo Boo. But the fact is, she just got a mani pedi with her gay uncle Poodle, and he got a discount because he only has nine toes, and I am ALL IN.
New drinking game: Drink while you Drink. I'll explain the rules when I see you, needless to say, it's not difficult. Unless you enjoy sobriety, humanity and life. Bestest.
So I'm just casually at the grocery store when I remember that there's still a clove of garlic in my vagina
leave me alone I'm becoming one with nature and doing plant things
I AM A GOOD PERSON AND THEREFORE I DESERVE QUALITY DICK!
Hey, I left a taco in your dishwasher.
Wait an hour then go and untie him. Bring toilet paper and some spare underwear. Want anything from Starbucks?
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
Randomize
