Be careful down there, Shane may have pooped on the carpet.
You tried to tell me you weren't high while you were eating French onion dip out of the jar with a spoon
can you put a coffee maker in the dish washer? yo know what, nvm i want to be surprised
How many ice cream sandwiches is an acceptable meal replacement?
2.5
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
For my 21st birthday, I require a kiddy pool filled with vodka. Make it so.
I just ditched my friends to hang out with the chilis restaurant crew...one of these girls better have daddy issues
If you were a real friend you would have told me you saw me in a porno despite how awkward of a convo it is. You act like I should always know when I'm being recorded.
I could have made money off of that but no you had to wait 2 years to drunkenly tell me this shit.
What if we made a bunch of weed butter and then poured the butter into tiny rectangular molds and then chilled it so it was solid again and then wrapped it with the tin foil wrapping from restaurant butter and then left them at restaurants and wreaked utter havoc.
All hell broke loose. When the police showed up, this kid somehow haggled with a cop to let him pee in public. I'm convinced he could talk the panties off of a nun
But in defense of this shit summer we've had, I totally perfected my shotgunning skills. I have achieved my summer goal.
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
Anyone would get lost in that field after that much vodka. Trust me... I kind of feel like superman considering I even made it home. Most people would've been face down in a random oilfield. Not this guy.
Never in my life have I seen a grown ass man get on all fours and attempt to buttfuck himself with the leg of a chair. I love Vegas!
I just watched your fat stupid son get hit by a Prius. Ran right in front of it. He's all right . But... Maybe you should have taught him to look both ways like a responsible parent does.
Randomize