I'm so bummed I missed coconut bowling. It's fucking cold here and no coconuts to be found
Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
My vag should have a twitter account. It would be like "destroyed another condom today".
Why would vodka do this to me? I've always been loyal
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
Pretty much gone. He was in the backseat and kept whispering that his "toes felt like pigtails"
We're gonna take a moment of silence to pray... that his penis is as pretty and as talented as his brothers.
Cause your way of greeting people at the club was grabbing a tit and jiggling it while yelling a name, which usually wasn't theirs, and guys weren't safe either.
Call me when you get off. I have stories about black lesbians in jail begging to braid my hair...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
its the kind of pain that only someone with a fucking elephant on their head would understand. I'm never drinking again.
CAN I EVER JUST MAKE OUT EITH SOMEONE AND NOT GET FRIEND REQUESTED BY THEM THE NEXT DAY.
Not gonna make it. My ovaries are playing laser tag
Don't put me in that position. I am not qualified to be the responsible adult here.
He told us when he was 10 he started shoving bars of soap up his ass for pleasure so i winked at him
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