why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
Next time, if you wake and bake, make sure you nail the wake part. Not easy to explain to mum. Or the fire brigade.
just walked past a girl in her cap and gown puking her brains out beside a tree. her friends were taking pictures of her.
Too late, the blunt's already in my cleavage
Literally passed out while tubing... Boating while hammered is a blast but thank God for life jackets
I have sand in every orifice, there are bruises everywhere, and I smell like a distillery. I love summer.
and honestly how many chances will you get to hook up with a one armed guy?
He's a psychology major, so instead of becoming a stripper, I'm just working out my daddy issues with him. And his cock. And spankings.
They're much more educational now btw. Don't judge.
This is it. This is the birthday cake that gets me laid.
Alex I've come up with a new medical condition. dick depression. it's a real thing and I have it
I took a vibrator for a weekend with my parents instead of a boyfriend. I obviously have my life together.
I'm over here trying to figure out how to get shake shack delivered to my bed and Jamie is having a child
I just spent 100$ at a sex shop to make myself feel better. And I signed you up to win 200$ so if you win, it's mine. And yes I'm serious.
She can't take shots?!? Literally if I could list that as a skill on a resume I would
I texted her mom a picture of us doing it saying "I'm trying to make your daughter just like you!" she was not amused.
Randomize
