you told all the 17 year old girls at the party that your mating call was "I glitter in the sun"
Google Chrome's "top 8 most visited sites" page has become my motivation to stop masturbating
wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
The bar I'm at just passed out smores to everyone. I don't know what it has to do with cinco de mayo but I'm down.
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
I just kept screaming "I'm fucking a preacher's son!" Also, this water tastes like weed.
She started telling me about this odd patch of smooth skin under her boobs. Not sure if she was hitting on me or looking for free advise from a doctor...
I mean, I still played with her tits for like 20min tho.
How does she have a hairless cat and a husband it's not fair. Both are hard to come by
I was packing a bowl naked and her dog just stared at me with pure rage
He signed my ass with a Waffle House pen.
He left stubble rash on my thighs and cooked me bacon before 9am. I need to lock this down STAT
Don't come up here. Strippers r crying.
I swear to God...this day is one great big who's who in the land of fucked uppedness.
The text I got from my boyfriend this morning: "babe, I'm not mad because I know you were drunk, but you kissed 3 guys last night and I wasn't one of them".
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