im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
stop changing my ringtone to people fucking, it looks bad at work
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
I just want to make mistakes. Like stds that go away with antibiotics mistakes.
I'm lowering my standards just so I can get laid, but I draw the line when a guy spells cool kewl
He always takes me to get taco bell after we hook up in his car. It's sort of become a booty call tradition.
apparently my new 420 ritual is to look at the clock at 4:20 and realize i'm already too high
you got coffee,laid,and a sandwich. that never happens when I work
He came to my Harry Potter marathon wearing a Hogwarts uniform. Of course I fucked him.
apparently I got pissed off that no one would let me spray them with a bottle of champagne at midnight of the new year. so I sprayed myself with one shirtless in the near freezing cold outside
I JUST GOT WOKEN UP TO HIM PISSING ON ME SAYING "IT HAS TO HAVE WATER TO GO TO THE BATHROOM" AND AFTER HE FINISHED HE DIDNT REMEMBER DOING IT
8 minutes into the New Year and and I've already sent a nude...new year, new me?
Why do I feel so obligated to masterbate just because I’m single and it’s valentines Day...
I just drunkenly emailed my feminist dissertation as a resignation letter for my call center job. What am I doing with my life!?
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