im marching my happy ass in there and im not leaving until he cheats on his girlfriend!
you should just get pregnant. that way you don't need to decide on a career.
I drunk wandered into my parents bed and slept between them
she told me if people cross their eyes and look at her, they say she looks like megan fox
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm taking it from the chunk of pizza I just pulled out my hair that we ate pizza last night?
I'm chugging Gatorade because i drank something called a trashcan and someone named Gianna diamond has my credit card number, and I think I might have ruined my life.
Mega depressed bro. Had the greatest sex with the hottest girl I've ever seen and in the AM she gave me that look I've given dozens of times. I'm her drunken fat chick fuck
He really thought ahead and just left the tequila in the mail box for late night pickup. Best. Friend. Ever.
I miss the good ol days when id just come home from school and thered be a costco size box of condoms on my bed.
my parents really loved me back then.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can you get the drug form of snow for the blizzard this weekend?
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
New fuck buddy and long time fuck buddy are carpooling home for thanksgiving. #10hrconvoaboutmyblowjobskills
I'm eating lunchables with a glass of wine while I FaceTime the guy I lost my virginity to.
How’s the date going?? Do you think he’s gonna cut your face off and wear it to his birthday party?
I just typed "I've got a friend" and my phone autocompletes to "that's a dick appointment". What is my life.
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