Our Neighbors are trying to steal our ducks!
whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
Its a sad when the highlight of your day is flicking a booger and actually getting it to stick to your computer monitor.
She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
If I have to take him to the hospital, I'm drawing dicks on his face
They really brought out their best strippers for vday weekend
The lady next to me at the airport just baggage checked a six pack. She is now my hero.
wanna tell me why theres a glass of water stuffed with tamptons in the freezer?
I'm going out w/ her for her b-day in a bit. I just talked to one of her drunk friends on the phone who asked if I could "handle 7 lesbian." This could be interesting.
He brought wine and beer. I'll put my pants on for wine and beer.
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
Apparently getting drunk at a philanthropy event and tweeting about it is "frowned up"
Also I'm at the pub and there are old lady pirates gyrating on a pole. I wish you were here.
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
He referred to our sex as "an Olympic event." My tits are bruised.
Randomize
