It's like God shit irony all over that family
you told me your penis was albino and it couldnt be exposed to light so you needed to keep it in me
easter eggs filled with ecstasy. it's what jesus would do.
I hope that he knows just because i pissed in his bed doesn't mean were together.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't remember much about walking home last night. I think I kicked a dog.
Alas, very true. I'll sell some of my eggs and give you like 10%
And with my 90% I'll get a scooter with a sidecar. And a pony. Also with sidecar.
he fucked me to the beat of the construction going on outside my house. i will never look at jackhammers the same ever again.
Her vagina smelled like pancake batter. That's all you need to know.
I think it was the free bomb shots from the creepy bolivians that sent us over the edge
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Law school has no idea what kind of prospect they have coming in. I just convinced a cop not to take me to jail by asking him if he really felt like cleaning puke out of his car tonight.
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
I tried to get more sleep but the universe decided I needed a drunken freshman instead
this is a save-me-from-tijuana-tequila-and-hoookers booty call. if i don't hear from you by 8pm i'm grabbing my passport
if i'm not back tomorrow call the embassy
Does the term "on fleek" apply to dicks or just eyebrows?
Why is the floor coated in a 2 inch blanket of popcorn??
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