I'm watching harry potter...good thing I already know I'm gay
the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
WERE YOU GOING TO TELL ME THERE WAS A LOAF OF BANANA BREAD IN THE OVEN BEFORE YOU LEFT FOR A 5 HOUR SHIFT??
Take a good hard look at your life. And the number of 18-20 year olds that you have made out with in the last 6 months... and then keep doing whatever the fuck you want.
You would be so proud at how green we're being. Re-using last night's jello shot containers.. saving the world one step at a time
I hope one day I make out with someone in a taco truck :(
I'm glad I inspire you to reach for the stars
Or a taco
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
I think when Jesus turned water into wine it was a sign that we should get drunk off Sangria tonight. Do it for Jesus. He died for your sins.
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
I spent the whole ride asking the cabbie if people ever have sex back there, and if he wanted me to make that number one higher.
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
I just used my sisters cheerleading plaque and a children's book to crush up painkillers to snort. Happy Friday
I was walking out of the bar when he said I'll see you later and I said I'll see you in my dreams and then fell face first and broke my nose
He stopped me mid-blow job to say that his new year's resolution was to stop hooking up. MID FUCKING BLOW JOB.
So um... You probably shouldn't post that picture of me and your crotch just because that's a new level of raunchiness that I'm not willing to accept yet
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