he is so obsessed with the fact that he works at Apple
i know, its like he jerks off to steve jobs
omg. don't know how to spell his name, but hot new zealand guy's dick is magic
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.
I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
I don't know at which point last night turned terribly, terribly wrong, but it was somewhere around Motel 6, specifically the parking lot.
I feel like I'm in an ocean of eels jacking me off
Put it this way, at one point I was getting stoned on the roof of the strip club with one of the strippers while another one gave me a free lap dance. That wasn't even the best part of the night.
Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night.
Getting stoned and sitting front row in a legal class.. Not my best idea
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
You remember the guy they called Meat in high school? Well, let's just say my vagina remembers him now.
The power of my boobs compel you
What's an appropriate engagement gift for the girl that's marrying your brother's Tuesday night hookup? Cause all I can think of is vodka and Kleenex.
Randomize
