i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
He's at the gym. He likes to get high and swim cause it makes him feel like a fish.
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
I really super glued a paper bow tie to my body last night. I need to do less drugs.
The guy who took my order at mcdonalds asked for my number. I think we should start fucking fast food employees, they're easy and think we're goddesses.
For the record, chili cheese fritos are not a chaser.
Shot gunning beers for breakfast. You better be ready for today.
Except there is my pee all over the walls now
ORGASMS AND PIZZA
PIZZA AND ORGASMS
Hello my rib-scented angel!
No biggie, just trying to keep my liver function in the green
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
This is the second time you've stolen a pet when you're drunk, given it back and cashed in on a reward...I think you have a problem
Gotta pay my student loans some way
I just realized I'm not wearing clothes. I think my pants may be in the kitchen but I have no idea where my shirt is. I'm kinda worried.
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