Sorry about all the noise last night. We were trying to break bottles by kicking soccer balls at them. If it's any consolation, there's shattered glass and blood all over my kitchen.
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
if i find out your the one who pierced my belly button im going to fuck your sister again
You are the only one who would stop a bum, tell him to open up, then pour straight vodka in his mouth. You made his year.
Just ate a whole pizza by myself. Wearing my indian headdress again. its really cool with the french braids. I look like fucking pocahontas or some shit.
We fucked in my trunk while on the clock....what did you do at work today?
Well you tried to pay for a drink with your keys for one...
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
Those nachos came to me in a dream
I dunno that I'd be trusting enough of junkyard tequila to drink it.
we're at the bar celebrating my ex bootycall getting his new gf pregnant... and me narrowly escaping a future as kitty foreman
He sent me a dick pic from a port-o-potty in Boston. If that's not love Idk what is.
Can I make sure all my sluttiness goes to you when I die? You're the only person I know who'll make use of it
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
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