Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
I will not ride trays down a flight of stairs topless and drunk....
The a/c is broken so they cut a softball size whole in the freezer door. Goodbye deposit.
Tell him next time im gonna be "disgrace to the family" drunk
i'm drinking whiskey out of a ziplock bag in a movie theater. i'm THAT girl.
He followed me on twitter after I posted a drunk screen shot of a tweet. It's like he gave me permission to stalk him on a whole different level.
I'm going to take a nap so I don't feel like a stripper sneezed in my mouth tomorrow morning at work.
we got kicked out of the bar last night for sneaking into the back kitchen and eating handfulls of cheese in the walk in fridge
This snow needs to melt so I can get wasted on someones front lawn
He was like low grade Riff Raff, but I hit it. Twice. His grill popped out the second time.
How many Wendy's frosties do you think it would take to fill a bathtub?
DUDE I FINGERED JOE'S MOM, PLS DONT TELL HIM, MORE LATER
Right?? Give me some apple scented candles and I'm a fall wet dream
The fact that u had sex with a Disney prince blows my mind, you're my hero.
You seem like the type to go to a craft sale baked out of your mind. I like you.
Randomize
