i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
this boner is exhausting
He spanked me with a plate. I'm not sure where this is going...
We snorted a line of cocaine and xanax, and then played a game of Backgammon. It was surprisingly therapeutic.
Shoot me. Guy hitting on me with a beaver on his head. Says it is his spirit animal.
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
You are so lucky that drugs are going to kill you before I do.
plus there's no nice way to tell a guy you physically hate the shape of their cock.
There would be some who claim I got a little "carried away" or that we "probably don't need that many jello shots". They would be wrong.
He looks like he was the one that always had koolaid stains around his mouth as a kid, he can fuck off.
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
Let's put it this way, there's not many girls I wouldn't let sit on my face
Welp... sober this am and I still have a parrot.
So the door man at the local dispensary started giving me motivational talks about my beard...
He nicknamed his dick "the fountain of youth" I think it's time to move on...
Randomize
