I just found a Chris Hansen soundboard online, care to guess what I'll be doing all day?
Weirdest conversation with my dad. He just told me he didn't shave his pubes.
I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
Ordered weed last night from the delivery service, and who showed up...my old real estate broker. He said, "this is less stressful." Duh.
You were spitting chewed up pretzle into my hands telling me to hold it for you.
I'm thinking I had intended to send you pics cuz I woke up naked
Don't freak out about the couches in the driveway. We tried to unpack the uhaul drunk.
Watching tv. She's giving me head and she hates it when I watch her.
Everything tastes like hotdogs and shame.
Santa was walking around downtown handing out stuff at the bars. He gave me a free eyebrow wax. I think he's trying to tell me something
She ended up puking in the bathroom. But she's a good drunk... i told her to stay in there so i could dance til the club closed. She was still in the stall an hour later.
There's jello in my purse I have a mysterious glow stick and didn't sleep with anyone my god I'm 3 for 3 tonight
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
Oh and he asked if I would occasionally still blow him if we had children. It was so romantic.
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
Randomize
