Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
I bought a boat. Want to have sex on The Angry Clam? That's what I named it.
So we were in the middle of hooking up when he stopped me. I thought he was having a moral dilemma about the whole having a girlfriend thing. But no. He got down on all fours, butt naked, and started throwing up and farting simultaneously. I took it as my cue to leave.
God gave me these boobs for a reason other than for people to throw things down them.
I am growing concerned with the number of people here in cowboy hats
my brother came home with a bottle of vodka and his pants off. were gonna spend more quality time together.
The maintenance guy at work just asked me out for a drink. For once, I proudly said that I was 20.
NEW RULE: NO INNAPROPRIATE CHOICES THAT INVOLVE GUNS. I LIKE IT. WRITE THAT DOWN.
You called your ex's vag an "AIDS Pinata". Drunk You is the Hulk Hogan of insults.
Your lack of dedication to alcohol is forcing me to drink with my ex husband. U suck
He offered to teach me how hula hoop in exchange for acid. I took him up on it.
we were making out in my truck and while she was straddling me she informs me that she jerks off horses for a living. Should I be concerned or flattered?
Mom told me you snuck booze into a concert in a cheez its box...I have never been prouder to be related to you
the gnome is staring at me and the pineapple is wearing shorts. I don't want to do this anymore.
Good Morning! You are sterile right?
Randomize