This dress was meant to end up on your floor
Passed out for 3 hrs til now to wake up naked on my bed covered with grass from drunk slip and slide I would call that success
mid-sex i was thinking.. these are not the right balls slapping me
Drunk you is everything I aspire to be in life.
Khloé Kardashian Finally Speaks Out About The Tristan Thompson Cheating Scandal
no, forget the keg and come see this. prego pants here is dunking chicken nuggets into pudding and crying over a cat show on animal planet.
I'm really really gonna try not to at least one night. The 4 day thanksgiving bender almost killed me last year
Listen to me plotting my whoredom.
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
I mean I'm screaming I love the gays in the middle of Bart so yeah
15 Porn Memes You’re Only Allowed To Laugh At If You’re Over 18
Build a thousand brigdes, lick one butthole. What am I remembered for? Buttholelicking.
This is the fourth day in a row I woke up with cheetos spread around me in a ritual pattern..this weed is unreal
So the other day we finished having sex and he literally said "what are we going to do about your vagina?" Like, I hadn't even dismounted him yet.
Dicks are not precious.
My roommate just google searched "cumming blood" using my laptop. Her boyfriend is in her room, she looks scared. Words cannot explain how hilarious this is.
So I had this brilliant idea that I would sleep in all sorts of sweatpants and sweatshirts... Apparently I thought I could "sweat" off the drunk in my sleep and that it would make me feel better when I woke up