your head's too prwtty to be stuck in the books
I guess there's a 50 percent chance that it was her that wet my bed.
He actually believes he's not an alcoholic if he doesn't go to meetings.
thats the mark of a good guy. when you can period all over his leg and he still thinks you're beautiful!
I just hotboxed my laundry basket.
sorry for the naked aussie man in your room last night, he got lost on his way to the bathroom
Will it be a clothes optional week when I get there? I have an amazing outfit of tattoos and toenail polish planned.
She's on her way over to shave my year round sweater vest into a festive argyle sweater vest. Keeper?
When you and that girl went into the bedroom, you yelled "FOR NARNIA!"
I just remember looking over and seeing you on top of him and us high fiving. That's when I knew we'd be perfect roommates
tell me you did not just describe yourself as "hot and bothered"
It's like everything I need in life within a five block radius: booze, toilets, dogs, dicks.
Three of my exes and one of my exes' brothers have hit me up and it's only been a week. I hate semester break.
I woke up at 3am, top off, with campus security telling me to get dressed. Tonight was a GOOD NIGHT
I need to leave my mind and my stupid vagina are having fight over who's right
Randomize
