so she proceeds to puke everywhere, look up at me like a sick dog, and then say, "i'll finish if you want me to."
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
I just test ran being their maid. I'm getting 50 bucks a month and they're buying the costume.
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
screw jello shots the kids from the culinary school made pudding shots with 4 loko.
your cat followed me a mile away from your house. if it doesn't come back, i'm sorry, but I needed to get laid tonight.
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
I put tequila in my salad dressing yesterday. Step the fuck up.
Please ask me to tell you about the time I watched two of my friends chase my drunk roommate with a broken foot around downtown
I guess she was just worried I'd end up sleeping with you again
It's not too late to disappoint her you know...
I mean I'm not saying I have my life together but I did just put nerds in a bottle of champagne and then drank from the bottle
SOME DUDE PUT OUT FOR A MCCHICKEN AND YET YOU STILL WON'T FUCK ME
Just had a customer call his drug dealer in front of me but act like it was normal call.
long story short, the bouquet was used as a sacrificial torch
Just so we're clear, drunk and naked is not appropriate attire for Thanksgiving. Do it this year and Grandma will ban you for life.
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