is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
Yeah he kicked my ass... He probably wouldnt have hit me as hard though if I wasnt lauging and yelling " I fucked your sister I fucked your sister" over and over again.
The dog threw up again, this time IN the toilet. I've taught him well.
I swear to God, I just heard my guardian angel tell us to stop. I think we should listen.
I literally just wielded a katana to save a child's life. What did you do today?
Brandon's Recipe: two parts cocoa, one part sugar, one part milk, two parts four, 378 parts paranoia. Thanks for the fucking brownies, bitch.
I'm not sure we can use safewords tho. She smokes so much she had to keep asking what the safewords was. Bondage and bongs don't mix
It's entirely possible that I'm fucking yet another gay guy
But I did discover that he's totally okay with going down on me while I eat taco bell so that's a plus, right?
I was going to say that I wasn't sure how that happened... but then I remembered that I bonded with the Australians over vitamins and INXS and they bought me tequila.
If you're with any of them tell them i apologize for (insert whatever i did here)
I'm glad I date someone who likes the simple things. Sex, kittens, and McDonald's.
i am currently wearing a bowl of frosting on my head. i do not regret any of my life choices leading to this moment
You were so drunk Last night you asked for your glasses so you could read the directions on a band aid
Randomize
