your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today
I didn't shave. On purpose
It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
def just vomited mimosa in the gym trashcan. i weigh less already so i say its been a solid workout.
He washed my hair whilst I gave him head in the shower. Bored or gay?
I woke up naked, with 10 visible bite marks and a black eye. I'm just going to assume that it was a good night.
I swear with his long flowing hair and god-like body he looked like Jesus, a bong hitting Jesus
Oh and no more ball pics to my family. Got in a little trouble over that. They have no sense of humor.
I was peeing in the bathroom at this house party when a guy just casually stumbles out of the shower
We were wearing togas. So having sex was really easy to do without taking any clothes off.
The more I drank he just got hotter and hotter. And then the mustache didn't look too bad
I swear he is my soulmate. He kept feeding me goldfish while we were fucking. Who wouldn't enjoy that while having sex.
Last night I made out with two lesbians while dancing with another girl. I'm pretty sure it wasn't even real life.
I only live four blocks from the bar but when you're hammered this walk feels like the journey through Mordor.
I might be getting fired on this week so the only option i see for tonight is to get smashed and have an orgy. actually this idea might explain why i'm not an ideal employee.
Randomize
