fml, blew my nose and red sprinkles came out and did the splits when i sneezed
I swear to god I'm with a high end prostitute right now and shes the most interesting person I've ever met. She just took me in to share an evening.
And as an added bonus she seems to have gotten a blood stain out of my favorite t-shirt
I woke up this morning and thought "Im sure I've seen this house in a porno" and instantly googlemapped myself
babies were throwing up all over the place
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
and when he finished he started shouting "swim boys SWIM"
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
i was just offered a 40 day sex challenge. prepare for the best 40 days of your life.
oh. my. god. yes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She had one of those kid princess beds. I asked how she expected to fuck on that and she just said "thats what the slide is for". I've never wanted to marry a one night stand before.
I just woke up tangled in fishing line while wearing someone else's bathing suit with fishes drawn all over me. What kind of sex did we have?
Can't a woman sleep on the floor in her own apartment in peace without being judged?
You were great dude. You wanted to charge the guy with fedora $100 to get in.
So because I'm off tomorrow that means your dick could be in my mouth majority of that time
i fucked his best friend. once right next door to him. i'm pretty sure that could be called sweet revenge.
Randomize